“I adopted my two children when they were a few years old, begins Claire, “I began the journey as their foster carer. When it became clear that adoption was the right course for the children I was supported by social services in becoming their adoptive parent.
“It was a long difficult time for waiting for things to be finalised, as uncertainties can arise during the process.
“During their early years with me there weren’t too many issues, explains Claire, “I had no acute need for adoption support from WBAS. As the boys got older and approached their teenage years things changed though.
“From about 15 Adam got into his first serious relationship with a girl and this brought to the surface and triggered some difficult emotions. There was some anger and aggression there and as a single, female adopter this was a challenge to deal with.
“It was difficult to handle at times and my natural instincts to calm the situation would actually sometimes make things worse.”
“I took action to get help resulting in getting regular counselling set up for Adam which did prove to be a bit of an outlet for him. The underlying issues were still there though and needing to be addressed more. The whole fall out and effects from COVID also were a factor.
“Gareth worked with Adam for about a year and half but I saw some differences in him fairly quickly”
“A Family Therapist from WBAS came on board with us in 2022 and this was the beginning of some significant positive changes with Adam. We had 2 years of family therapy and I learnt a lot about gentle, effective parenting.
“I was referred my own Adoption Support Social Worker Helen and her support in the form of regular check ins and just making sure we were all ok made such a difference.
“On top of the issues Adam faced from adoption he was also quite susceptible to some of the negative influences online that can affect younger boys. WBAS Youth Worker Gareth came on board to do some 1 2 1 work with Adam and provide positive male role modelling.
“Gareth worked with Adam for about a year and half but I saw some differences in him fairly quickly. The important thing for me was how WBAS put these different people in place, supporting our various needs and that it was open ended.
“Knowing the support will not suddenly end after a few sessions was so reassuring for the future. Through Gareth’s support Adam starting attending the Connected Youth Groups for adopted young people. Adam helped out at the groups which was really good for him. He wasn’t really sure what to do after school but after being at the Connected groups he was really interested in pursuing Youth Work as a job.
“This was an amazing turnaround for us as a family and the difference in him was clear to see.
“His confidence improved so much through this regular 1 2 1 work with Gareth. He has got into the gym and now has a good bunch of friends. He’s so much nicer to be around, granted he has matured and is older now but self image is something he used to struggle with.
“Adam was diagnosed with ADHD in his teens, Claire explains, “I used to find it hard to determine what were ADHD issues and what challenges were more related to adoption. Medication and his self-development and awareness has helped us to unravel all of this a bit.”
Gareth WBAS Youth Worker says, “We’re proud that we where there for the family when they needed us the most. I supported Adam through positive male role modelling and he was great to work with. His capacity to take on the learnings around some of the negative influences online made my job easier. Within a month we found that a lot of anger and aggression had subsided significantly. It’s always extremely satisfying when you can make a quick impact and improve daily life for families.”
Claire concludes, “I feel WBAS could be a role model for other services in their provision of adoption support.”
Learn more about WBAS Adoption Support here
Learn more about Adoption UK Connected Groups for Adopted Young People here