“We struggled getting pregnant naturally and suffered some miscarriages previously, so, initially, we then tried the IVF route. I have always wanted a child or children, from a young age. Mark already has a son, so had some reservations originally. I have loved being step-mum to Mark’s son and had wanted to extend this love to a child of our own,” explains Steph, reflecting on the personal journey that led her and Mark to become Welsh Early Permanence (WEP) approved Foster Carers.
Initially, adoption wasn’t at the forefront of their minds. “We didn’t really think about adoption at the start, but I couldn’t see my life without a child,” Steph recalls. A friend’s recommendation led them to Beth, a supportive contact who soon introduced them to the concept of Welsh Early Permanence (WEP).
Steph’s professional background played a significant role in their decision. “My previous job involved working with professionals to raise awareness of Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) and being trauma informed,” she notes. This experience fuelled her determination to provide a child with a stable start from birth, aiming to reduce some of the multiple moves many children experience. “We just thought that if we are going to do this then it needs to be WEP so that we can start as early as possible.”
“Even if the child goes back to the birth parents – you’ve still made a difference.”
With a clear purpose, they embarked on the WEP process. “So, we started the WEP process,” Steph explains, “we’re now currently waiting for a match.” Their philosophy is rooted in making a tangible difference, regardless of the ultimate outcome. “Our thinking is, that even if it goes wrong there’s six months there where we’ve made a difference and created a bit of stability. Even if the child goes back to the birth parents – you’ve still made a difference.”
Mark acknowledges the inherent challenges of WEP. “The scariest thing,” he adds, “is that there is always that risk that they go back to birth family. But with the experiences we’ve got, we can offer that child the best possible start.”
Despite this uncertainty, Steph and Mark are firm advocates for WEP. “We don’t understand why more people don’t explore the option of WEP to give you those early bonding experiences with the child,” says Steph. Mark offers a simple counter: “It’s the uncertainty.”
However, for Steph, the benefits far outweigh the risks. “There’s pros and cons to everything in life,” she asserts, “but the opportunity to build that connection and stability at the earliest opportunity, that early intervention, giving the best possible start, ultimately overrides any risk for us.”
Their journey has been supported by dedicated professionals. “We feel we’ve been quite lucky with the service we’ve received from WBAS, Rachel our social worker has been amazing with such a good connection from the start. We know from experiences with other services that this level of care isn’t always a given!” they conclude, highlighting the positive impact of strong professional support.
We will catch up Steph and Mark next when they have been successfully matched with a child!
Learn more about Welsh Early Permanence here